If you are an older man or woman dating a younger person you have probably faced some judgment. It may have been from your family and friends or theirs… or it may have been from strangers.
The truth is, no one has the right to judge your relationship. The two of you need to decide what feels right to you.
As a senior you may feel strange dating someone in their 20’s, 30’s or 40’s… or you might feel great. It might excite you… or frighten you.
This quiz will not give you all of the answers to the complexities of dating across generations.
It won’t explain how to make it work, how to get people to stop staring or whether or not you two are meant to be. It will simply give you insight. Answer honestly, thoughtfully and from the heart.
- Complete the sentence: If other people judge us…
- They can go to ****.
- I feel embarrassed and nervous.
- I haven’t noticed.
- Fill in the blank: We have ______________ common interests.
- Very few
- Have you introduced him or her to your family?
- No. Because they don’t agree with the relationship.
- No. Because I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
- (Skip if you don’t have children) My kids are __________ my girlfriend/boyfriend.
- Older than
- The same age as
- Younger than
- Complete the sentence: I like him/her because…
- He/she keeps me young.
- He/she cares a lot about me.
- We have a lot of fun together.
- Fill in the blank: I think we look ________________ together.
- Strange but cool
- Ridiculous but happy
- Unusual but in love
- Complete the sentence: I am most attracted to his/her…
- Physical appearance
- Youthful spirit
- Personality and mind
- Complete the sentence: If he/she was an animal, they would be…
- A cat
- A dog
- A bird
- Complete the sentence: If I were an animal, I would be…
- A dog
- A bird
- A cat
- Complete the sentence: We are…
- a great couple
- best friends
- soul mates
- Complete the sentence: Other people…
- Judge our relationship.
- Don’t understand our relationship.
- Should mind their own business.
Now tally up your score. Count up how many responses you chose for each letter. Were they mostly a’s, b’s, or c’s?
You may not be in the relationship for all of the right reasons. That is not to say you don’t care about the person that you are seeing or that you are wrong for dating them. You may just want to reevaluate your motives. Do you enjoy being seen with a younger man or woman? Do you sometimes use your boyfriend or girlfriend as a trophy?
Is there some part of you that thinks dating a younger person will keep you young? The truth is, at the end of the day you are still whatever age that you are. You are still going to die at some point. You are not miraculously 20 just because you are dating a 20 year old. As long as you are clear about what exactly is keeping you in the relationship and attracting you to this person then you are certainly not doing anything wrong. Just take a moment to ponder.
You care a lot about your boyfriend or girlfriend. You think they are great. However, your answers also suggest that you may not feel totally OK about being with them. You feel guilty, ashamed or uncomfortable about the relationship. You may have children close to their age or friends may give you strange looks. Strangers may even make comments.
These things are going to hurt. Of course they will. The bottom line is whether you think your relationship is strong enough to weather the criticism, the stares or the disapproval. You need to weigh out the pros and cons and decide what is best for the two of you. If you two decide to be together for the long haul then you MUST not let others’ opinions affect you.
You seem to have a great relationship. If other people don’t like it then that is their problem. Your happiness is the most important thing. Be confident and continue to love whoever you choose!