Looking for Older Women

It does seem like a bit of a mystery, doesn’t it when younger guys start looking for older women? Yeah, I know, it sounds odd, but it is fascinating as well. Watch The Graduate and you will understand what I mean. But here we are trying to unravel that mystery of why young uns fall for older women and why looking for older women is such a charming pastime for them.

Looking for Older Women: Tips

Exotic

Looking for older women is exotic; it is fascinating, it is thrilling, akin to experiencing an adventure, almost like embarking on an unknown trip to some strange fantastic land like Coleridge’s Xanadu.

Looking for older women and dating her is like tasting a delightful intoxicant that is completely out of the ordinary, which has nothing in common with what you have tasted so far. It is deep, dark, engrossing, secret and forbidden and who doesn’t know forbidden fruits always taste sweeter?

Attraction and obsession vs. lust

The theme of looking for older women and dating an older woman had been well explored in the Polish film A Short Film About Love 1988 directed by Krzyszt Kieslowski. It shows how a teenaged boy Tomek who is lonely and emotionally stunted grows a deep obsessive liking and attraction towards a sexually prolific older neighbor Magda.

As I said just now, a relationship between a younger guy and an older woman has a certain sexual tension, a certain forbidden tone in it, a healthy dollop of intrigue and these are not always ingredients for a perfect disaster, I mean a disastrous relationship. Look at Demi Moore and her toy boy Ashton Kutcher. They look like such a cute couple.

Many times the innocence and raw sexuality of a younger man draw an older woman to him. Sometimes a younger chap needs to idealize his love and seeks this idealized love in an older woman when he fails to find it in girls or women of his own age.

At times the relationship can be defined through the prism of love and need, at times it is only about sexual and mysterious obsession, at times it is the guy’s sensitivity that makes him inch closer to a relationship like this.  And at other times it is the charm of longing for someone whom you can never have!

Oedipal complex or gold digger

Of course there are gold digging men as well who prey on single or widowed older women, but mostly a man searches for a kind of mother figure in an older woman – in such a case, it is probably a kind of oedipal hangover that many men suffer from but refuse to admit.

Maturity and Security

I know feminists will decry this, but you have to admit that older women are naturally more battered, more worldly wise, more mature with myriad life experiences that they have had. And they can bring this well baked maturity to the table when they are in a relationship. A younger chap might find it irresistible. And younger guys looking for older women feel more secure and safe in the company of older women, as they don’t have to cope with peer pressure or the fear of being dumped. 

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