Dating after divorce may sound downright terrifying. The idea of getting back out there after a prolonged hiatus is daunting. You may wonder if you are even attractive anymore or if anyone will ever love you again. The answer is YES! You are attractive and you absolutely deserve love and will find it in due time. Here are a few do’s and don’ts to help you get your feet wet again!
Do…Get Out and Meet People.
Just go out and do things! Go to events at church, work, your friends’ house. Anywhere! Just make a point of socializing, making new friends and enjoying yourself.
Don’t…Stay Home and Feel Sorry for Yourself.
It can be tempting to sit at home and mope. Don’t! It will depress you, damage your self-esteem and lessen your chances of meeting someone new.
Dating around doesn’t mean you have to sleep around. Just meet new people, have fun and give yourself an opportunity to build back your confidence.
Don’t… Jump Back Into a Commitment.
Jumping back into a serious relationship is a very bad idea. It may be tempting because you are used to having someone around all of the time and you miss the feeling of being loved. Don’t do it! Give yourself time to heal.
Do… Spend Time With Your Children, Family and Other People That You Aren’t Dating.
The people who love you the most, like your family and friends, are the people who are the most supportive and who will help you to recover from the feelings of devastation and grief that can follow a divorce. Dating is great and can be a great way to learn new things about yourself and become more comfortable with the opposite sex again. However, the people who have known you the longest and who have your back are the people you should trust and invest time in right now.
Don’t… Spend Too Much Time or Energy Worrying About Finding Someone New.
Finding someone new will happen naturally in its own time. Don’t push it. Find yourself, learn to enjoy time alone and allow your heart to mend.
Nothing is more attractive than a happy, energetic person. If you exude joy people will naturally gravitate toward you. You will find yourself the center of attention and won’t even have to try. Being happy is the easiest way to look and feel great.
It may be easy to feel sorry for yourself and, truthfully, having moments of anger, hurt or bitterness is natural. However, if you are allowing those feelings to overcome you it will show. People will not want to be around you and will not enjoy your company. If it’s difficult not to feel too depressed, mad or melancholy than you may want to consider therapy.
It really isn’t rocket science. You have to give yourself time. You have to be happy with yourself. You should surround yourself with the people and things that make you happiest. Don’t lock yourself away, feel sorry for yourself or allow feelings of anger, inadequacy or fear keep you from dating, enjoying life and being the best you.